Really really

So apparently I am work for practically free!?!  More bullshit to stress over.

This sucks

I've fallen back into my hole.  I want to go back to bed and stay there forever.

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Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.

Psalm 31:9 (ESV)

Not forgotten

Next week my child would have been 1! 1 year old and Gizmo is not here. It really pisses me off. I'm pissed this week. Just not a happy camper for multiple reasons. Why is my child gone? Man these anniversaries/birthdays really get to me. Christmas wasn't terrible but Wednesday is going to be bad. Whatever it's bullshit. I'm sick of continuing to pretend like I'm okay. I'm not okay. I'm still not okay.

Wow it's been way too long since I've posted and October 15 again already?

It seriously has been way too long since I've posted. Not acceptable. Blogging is therapy for me and I have let it fall by the wayside.

Anyway, I can't believe it's almost time for the October 15 ceremony again. Wow a year has passed already. I still haven't ordered the names in the sand picture but I'm going to within the next couple of days! Top priority. I hope that we have the same style ceremony as last year. I have found no information on it yet and I think I'm going to have to call. I hope everyone will make an effort to attend an event or at least light a candle. We are still moms even though are children are not here.

Wow I can't believe it's almost October 15 again and what's up with me?

I really hope that they have the service at Journey Church again. It was great last year.

It's been a rough couple of months. My grandmother passed away and I lost my job again. I'm stressed to the max but what's new. I've been trying to spend a lot of time down east at my grandma's house because I feel so close to her there and actually close to Gizmo as well. I'm going to try to start posting again. It helped. Gizmo would have been 7 months old now and it's so hard to believe.

Almost a year

Well the dreaded week is finally here. June 18 is only a few days away and luckily without fail, I will be at the beach with my dear friend and coworker. I'm actually thinking of taking off a day this week to go visit my grandmother. I need to be without stress this week otherwise, I will loose it.