Friends

So I just talked to my friend who is due in about two months. I'm happy for her but the conversations are so draining. I could close my eyes and not wake up for days. It's a challenge to talk about what she is going through and what I didn't get. Thank goodness no work tomorrow. I am trying so hard not to cry right now. Why am I not chilling with my baby? Instead I am dreading June 18, a year already? How is this possible. God this sucks.