Saturday, February 26, 2011

Way too many damn idiots!

WTF is this guy thinking? Seriously has totally screwed up my day. Read about the FREAKING IDIOT HERE!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

This week

Not very optimistic. It's not going to be good at all. I'm hoping to take Thursday and Friday off and maybe go to the beach or to Charlotte to see my friend. Long overdue me time needed. Work has been crazy and I need to refresh and regroup.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Great giveaway for a great cause Cookies for Kids Cancer

I've been entering a lot of giveaways lately. It's fun and someone has to win right. Well I thought this was an appropriate one to share on this blog. Maammamoiselle is giving away cookies which the proceeds help to kids cancer research! What a great cause!! It would be worth entering and who doesn't love cookies.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

Missing my sweet one tonight. Time for a letter.

Dear Gizmo:

Happy Valentine's Day. I miss you so much. I wish you were here with me. I made a good dinner tonight, steak, potatoes, corn and rolls. Daddy liked it. I'm sad today. It's lonely without you here. I feel very empty. It breaks my heart to not have you here with me. I wonder what we would be doing now. I love you and will never love anyone as much as I do you. You are my child, my sweet little baby. I love you more than life.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

This weekend

This weekend has been the best I have had in a while. I feel guilty. I had the best time last night with my mom that I have had in a long time. I can't believe it's been almost 8 months! My little gizmo would have been almost a month old or older!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Streak broken

It's been awhile since I did an "angry" post, well I am breaking that streak. I am so mad at the world tonight. I had a horrible day at work, which I won't get into, and then my husband did not get a job that he really wanted in another state. We are both so disappointed. I was actually pretty confident he would get it. Ahhh so yet another 2011 slap in the face. The trend continues. Am I having a pity party...absolutely! I am angry with the world..yes I know people are in worse shape but we can not seem to catch a break. Life has been so cruel and unfair to us recently and I'm sick to death of it. I'm going into work pretty early tomorrow and then I may take Thursday and Friday off. I need a break big time. I am to the point that I can not handle anything else. I consider myself to be a pretty strong person but there I can't handle this anymore and for those that say I can...well they can only see what's going on from the outside so they have no flipping idea what I am going through inside. Seriously I'm done.

Saturday, February 5, 2011


I made it through today! I cried after I left but it was a really nice visit.

Friday, February 4, 2011

This week

I miss Gizmo really bad tonight. I wonder why it's worse sometimes? I guess I just think of what I should be doing right now and what I'm not doing. It really stinks. I wish things were a lot different. Sometimes I just want to sit in my room and just be sad. I often feel like it's wrong for me to be sad or upset.

I'm ready for my Glory Babies meeting. Monday night can not come fast enough. Liz who is the leader of the Cary group is so nice. I had to call her Wednesday because I had a really bad meltdown.

Please really need to stop telling me to move on. I'm tired of it. I'm not moving on. I think about MY child every second of everyday. Healthy or not that's what I do. It's just me. I can't help how I am or how I feel.

Tomorrow will be a very tough day for me. I'm anxious. I think I am going to take my medicine early tomorrow. I'm not sure how I am going to deal with it. It will probably be the biggest challenge I've had to face. I hope I don't chicken out. I am having really bad anxiety about it. Great now I'm crying. I do not think I can do it. I have a lump in my throat and my stomach is churning.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I'm kind of addicted to giveaways! They make me :)

Here is a link to some I've recently entered (post will be updated)