Monday, October 25, 2010

Gross Weather

To start off, sorry about the Jesus comment, that was rude.

It's been a yuck day. My parents still don't get it. I'm really giving up on them. I told my mom that I am not talking about the baby anymore. Today has been really sad. I'm not sure why, maybe it has been the weather, or maybe it's because in less than 3 weeks i will be 37. I feel really down in the dumps. I wish I was decorating the nursery or folding baby clothes. It's getting about time for another Julie vacation, maybe I'll go to the beach, that always makes me feel better.

I'm really questioning why this happened? When am I going to feel better? Why does it hurt so bad? It's been 4 months. I feel gross, like I don't want to be in this body anymore. Nobody gets me. I feel so alone. Why is everyone avoiding the subject? Nobody even mentions it. I have a CHILD!! My mom an Id dad have a GRANDCHILD! My brother has a NIECE or NEPHEW!! Geez people, your wife, daughter, sister is hurting right now. Get a freaking clue. I'm putting on a good front.

Stupid gross weather.

EMOTIONS: Pissed!!!! Angry at the world!!! Sad!!

NEGATIVE THINGS TODAY: Work stunk, computers were down (really?, excuse me IT department but I contribute to your salary!!), my fever blister hurts like a B****! Wonder why I got one of those???? Hmmmm??

POSITIVE THINGS TODAY: Talked to my brother, had some sushi for lunch (glad I like that), got a relaxing bath. Drinking some delicious wine.

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