Another sad night. Where should I go for Christmas? The beach, mountains, Florida? There is no way I am sitting here. Everyone will be celebrating but I'm not sure they will not remember my child.
Just because my child died doesn't mean they don't have a grandchild, niece, nephew, etc. How is it that people can say well my mom, dad, or so and so passed away but we forget that child who passed. They just remember it as Julie had a miscarriage.
Medicine: I upped my Zoloft. I started at 50 mg, then two weeks after 100, tonight I took 150. It's not working on 100.
I wish my child was here and I wasn't. I hate my life. I'm not happy. God I miss my child. Here come the tears. Dammitt.
You will have good days and crappy days. When my nephew died- my sister in law kept saying, "how can people just go on like everything is fine and my BABY IS IN A REFRIGERATOR.
ReplyDeleteMy own losses were early like yours. We planted a rose bush, and somehow that bring me peace to nurture and watch it grow and mature until I can hold my sweet peas in Heaven again.
Find your peace sweetheart. Your baby would HATE to see you so broken.♥